🧠 Mindful Communication for DevOps Engineers: We’re Not Google, and That’s Okay

✍️ Why I'm Writing This

Lately, I’ve been navigating some difficult conversations — in Slack, in meetings, and in code reviews.
And if I’m honest, I haven’t always handled them skillfully.

This article isn’t just advice for others — it’s a reminder for me, too.

A reminder to pause before reacting.
To communicate with more empathy.
To say, “I don’t know,” without guilt.
And to show up not just as an engineer, but as a human being.

If you’ve felt the same lately — stretched thin, misunderstood, or just not quite at your best — I hope this helps.

💬 What Is Mindful Communication?

Mindful communication means being intentional, present, and aware of how we speak, write, and listen — especially when things are fast-moving or high-pressure.

It looks like:

• Giving full context in Slack instead of asking, “Is this broken?”
• Explaining trade-offs without getting defensive
• Setting realistic expectations with empathy
• Admitting when we don’t know something — and being okay with that

In DevOps, where we span multiple teams and time zones, communication is often asynchronous and misunderstood. Mindfulness helps us cut through that.

💻 Slack Comms: Communication Without Tone

Slack is where a lot of DevOps work happens — support questions, incident threads, planning discussions, and team culture. But it’s also a minefield for misinterpretation.

I’ve had days where I’ve fired off a quick message during a stressful moment, only to read it back later and think, “That sounded way too sharp.” Now I try to pause before hitting send and include just enough context.

Instead of:

“This isn’t working. Can someone fix it?”

I’ll write:

“Running into an issue with the Keycloak deployment on non-prod — getting a CrashLoopBackOff. I’ve rolled back once, increased memory, and checked logs. Still failing on startup. Anyone seen this before?”

That tone shift: ✅ Shows you’ve tried to troubleshoot
✅ Makes it easier for others to help
✅ Signals collaboration, not blame

It’s a small habit that changes how people feel when they work with you — and that matters.

🔍 GitHub PR Reviews: Culture in the Comments

PR reviews are one of the most overlooked areas for mindful communication. It's not just about the code — it's about how we work together.

In the past, I’ve been guilty of focusing only on what's wrong. These days, I aim for balanced, thoughtful reviews. That means:

• Thanking the person for their work
• Asking questions with curiosity, not judgment
• Offering suggestions instead of mandates

For example:

“Nice breakdown of changes — the separation of logic makes this much easier to follow. One thought: would it be worth moving this to a shared module down the line?”

The goal isn’t just cleaner code — it’s building trust and showing you care about the person, not just the output.

🎯 Dealing with Unrealistic Expectations (Without Losing Your Cool)

DevOps often gets tagged as the team that can "just do it quickly." But most of the time, the “simple” request isn’t simple at all.

Case in point: someone once asked me to “just add a config variable” — a tiny change, in theory. But in practice it required:

• Updating multiple repos (Helm chart, instance, module)
• Bumping versions
• Testing locally and in non-prod
• Opening PRs and going through review

I used to get frustrated — now I explain the process calmly:

“This touches multiple layers and needs a few checks to keep everything stable. I’ll need half a day to do this properly — does that work with your timeline?”

That one sentence can shift the whole conversation. Instead of feeling frustrated or blamed, people feel informed. And realistic.

Mindful communication here is about surfacing the invisible work and setting boundaries without sounding defensive.

🧠 The Pressure to Know Everything

There’s an unspoken pressure in DevOps to be a walking encyclopedia. You get pinged for answers like:

“What’s causing this IAM permission issue?”
“Why is this Lambda timing out?”
“How do I debug this Helm release?”

Sometimes you know. Other times? You’re googling like everyone else.

And that’s okay.

There have been moments where I’ve felt the urge to make something up or say, “I’ll take a look,” just to maintain credibility. Now I just say:

“Not sure off the top of my head — let me dig into it and get back to you.”

Or:

“Haven’t worked with that specific config before — mind if I spend a bit of time reviewing the setup before I give an answer?”

It’s honest. It models healthy team culture. And it takes the pressure off everyone to be perfect.

We’re engineers, not AI models. Admitting you don’t know everything is a strength — not a weakness.

🔁 Everyday Mindful Communication Habits

Here are a few habits I’m trying to practice more consistently:

✅ Pause before replying

Especially when I’m stressed or annoyed. A 10-second delay has saved me from sending messages I’d regret.

✅ Always give context

What was I doing? What failed? What did I try? This saves time and shows respect for others' mental load.

✅ Choose curiosity over assumption

Swap “Why did you do this?” for “Can you walk me through your thinking here?”

✅ Clarify, don’t condescend

Speak like someone who wants to work with others, not just around them.

✅ Normalize not knowing

Say, “Good question — let me check.” That one sentence helps shift your culture from pressure to learning.

🧭 Final Thought: You’re Not Just Shipping Code — You’re Shaping Culture

DevOps is about systems, automation, speed, and resilience. But beneath all of that, it’s about people trying to solve hard problems together.

Mindful communication is what turns those people into a team. It prevents friction, reduces rework, and creates space for growth.

So next time you’re replying in Slack, reviewing a PR, or getting hit with a “quick question”...

Slow down.
Be human.
Communicate like it matters — because it does.

You’re not Google. You’re not supposed to be.
You’re a DevOps engineer building systems and trust — and that’s enough.